The first step to quitting porn is staying present. The present moment is where your power lies. Your mind will often try to pull you into the past, the future, or into fantasy, but when our minds are untrained, they can take control and keep us disconnected from the present. The goal is to return to the here and now, where the need for porn simply doesn’t exist.
So, how do you stay present? It takes practice. The more you practice, the better you get at it, until you can stay present throughout the day—even in those moments when the urge to watch porn hits.
Practicing Presence
There are many ways to practice being present, and while the techniques may go by different names—mindfulness, meditation, silent prayer, or simply being still—the core idea is the same: sit still, close your eyes, breathe, and observe your thoughts. Just notice them without judgment, and remember: you are not your thoughts. You are the observer. You can even remind yourself by saying, “I am the observer.” When thoughts arise, label them as “the past” or “the future,” and let them pass without attaching to them.
Start small. Try this practice for just one minute every night and every morning. As you get comfortable, add a minute each week, building up to 30 minutes a session. Over time, you’ll notice how much stronger your true self—the part of you that stays grounded in the present—becomes.
How This Helps You Quit Porn
In those moments when you compulsively use porn, have you noticed that you’re not in control? Afterward, you likely feel regret and wonder, “Why does this keep happening?” That’s because the “real you”—the present, observing you—wasn’t in charge. Instead, the version of you that lives in the past, future, and fantasy took over. That version doesn’t care about your well-being and will do anything to pull you out of the present.
If this sounds strange, it’s probably because you haven’t practiced being present enough. And that’s okay—it’s normal. Most of us were never taught how to be present when we were younger. But the more you practice staying grounded in the now, the easier it becomes to avoid compulsive behaviors like using porn as a way to escape or feel better.
So, How Do You Quit Porn?
The simple answer: the real you doesn’t need porn. The real you doesn’t need to quit it because it doesn’t rely on it. The more often you become your true, present self, the less power porn has over you—especially in moments of temptation.
Just start with a minute of meditation (or more) each night and morning, and build from there. Explore different techniques—whether it’s mindfulness, meditation, or contemplative prayer—and find what resonates with you. The key is to practice being still and staying present. As your true self grows stronger, the rest will take care of itself.
You’re Not Alone
This is just one powerful piece of the recovery puzzle, but it’s an important one. And remember, there’s a lot of help available. If you’re struggling, you don’t have to face this alone. It can be embarrassing to talk about sex and porn, but many people are going through similar struggles. Programs like Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) and Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous (SLAA) are great resources, and treatment centers like and Seeking Integrity can also help. Don’t wait for things to get worse. Take control, reach out, and let the real you start living free.
— Dustan Sheehan
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